


A Feeling You Thought You'd Forgotten

by sgt_fuckybarnes



Series: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bullying, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Trans Bucky, Trans Female Character, sort of, trans woman bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgt_fuckybarnes/pseuds/sgt_fuckybarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a general rule, Steve Rogers didn’t go to high school reunions. He’d left High School 15 years ago, and he’d never once looked back. Not just because he was scrawny, geeky, and generally looked down upon by his peers. But a mysterious woman he meets outside the event might change his mind altogether. <br/>More transgirl!Bucky for my Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Feeling You Thought You'd Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> So this one doesn't take place in the canon 'verse like my other Sugar and Spice fics, but this one's been rattling around in my head since I even started headcanoning Bucky as a trans girl. Hope you enjoy!

As a general rule, Steve Rogers didn’t go to high school reunions. He’d left High School 15 years ago, and he’d never once looked back. Not just because he was scrawny, geeky, and generally looked down upon by his peers, but because he loved his life now. He’d gotten a series of growth spurts in his late teens that had brought him up to six feet and 2 inches, he’d gotten a job illustrating comics and he lived with his best friend, an asshole named Sam.

An asshole that insisted they go to the 15th annual reunion for the class of 2000 at Shield high school. 

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” He muttered, leaning in to talk in Sam’s ear. His friend smiled, throwing an arm around his shoulder, the asshole. “Oh, come on. High school wasn’t that bad, Steve.” 

Steve huffed, throwing Sam his dirtiest look. It wasn’t as intimidating as it should have been, only because of the dorky, too big sweater he was hiding behind. “No, High School wasn’t that bad for you, Sam. Everyone loved you.” He insisted. “That’s only because there were three black kids in our whole school and picking on me would be racist.” He replied, nudging Steve gently. Steve could see the balloons at the entrance to the hotel, along with a sign reading ‘SHIELD High Reunion.’ They were there. God fucking damn it. “Well…that’s not fair. I was the only openly queer kid. Picking on me was homophobic.” He protested. “Well…it’s different. Even if you were straight, shoving you into a locker and calling you faggot still would have been homophobic, Steve. “ 

Sam had a point, but Steve didn’t have to like it. “Just…you go on in, okay? I’m gonna wait outside for a little bit.” He said, hesitantly taking a name badge from the woman outside of the hotel. He recognized her, actually. Sharon Carter, he’d dated her for two weeks when he was 15. He smiled politely, putting the name take onto his sweater. “Steve. You got taller.” She said, as a way of greeting. He nodded. “Yeah….” He replied awkwardly. “And…more muscular.” She added, and Steve could hear the flirtation in her voice. “Uh…well, the army will do that to you.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. She smirked, but didn’t comment. “Are you gonna go inside?” she asked, indicating to the entrance. He shook his head. “I’ll just…wait outside for a while. I need some time to psych myself up.” She smiled in understanding. Probably remembering how Steve was in high school…

He sat on the grass outside, crossing his legs. There was a woman sitting next to him silently, but he didn’t notice her until she spoke. “Want one?” she offered. Her voice was surprisingly deep, and her hand offered out a box of cigarettes. He shook his head. “Probably not a good idea. I had pretty bad asthma as a kid.” He explained, half smiling out of politeness. She nodded, turning to look at him. “I remember. You brought that inhaler with you wherever you went.” 

Steve winced at that. “You remember me?” she asks, clear disappointment in his voice. He’d hoped no one would. “I remember you. You’re Steve Rogers, you got in a fight in the cafeteria every week. How could I not?” she replied, but it didn’t feel malicious. It felt like she was teasing him. “I don’t…I don’t remember you.” He confessed, although her sharp blue eyes seemed all too familiar. She shrugged. “It was a class of 3000 kids. Besides…it’s probably better that you don’t.” she said, with a smile that looked almost apologetic. “Oh?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. “Why’s that?” 

She took a breath. “Because in high school…I hated everyone. I hated myself, I hated my classmates…and they all hated me too. Some of them acted like they liked me, but they all hated me.” She explained quietly, and now she was picking at the hem of her short black dress. “Oh. I…I know the feeling, believe me but…high school was a long time ago. People probably got over whatever made them hate you a long fucking time ago.” He responded.

“Really? There’s not one person from high school that you still hate for what they did to you?” she asked.   
“Well…one person.” He admitted, looking a little guilty. “But he was really awful to me. He actually strung me up on the flagpole. And then he called me Captain America for a year.” He said grimacing. 

The woman’s eyes widened in recognition, but she steeled her expression after a few seconds. “Oh yeah? Who…who was it that did that to you again?” she asked, forcing a face of curiosity. “His name is James Barnes. He was…remember, he was the captain of the swim team? His campaign of terror reached pretty much everyone in the grade.” He replied. She nodded. “I know. I remember that.” She said. “So…clearly you know who I am. Do I get your name?” he asked, giving her a shy smile. And okay, he was flirting a little. Sue him. She was pretty. “I’m Bucky.” She said, offering her hand out to shake. Her grip was almost shockingly strong, a strange dichotomy with her shiny red nails. “Bucky?” 

“I know, it sounds like a cartoon beaver from a kids show, right? It’s a nickname, short for Rebecca Buchanan.” She explained. He laughed. “Your last name is Buchanan? Like the gay president?” he asked. “No.” she replied simply, but didn’t elaborate. Steve decided not to ask. “So…can I ask why you’re so convinced that everyone hates you? You seem pretty likable to me.” Steve said. “Well sure, maybe now…I’ve had a lot of therapy since high school.” She said, laughing bitterly. “I was a dick. Me and James Barnes…we hung out in the same crowd. He and I were actually really close.” She admitted. Oh. That definitely made sense. James had a different girlfriend every week it seemed, and they all stayed in his weird little friend group of pseudo-masochists after the two of them broke up. “You were one of James’s…?” 

“Bimbos?” she supplied. Steve felt himself flush. “I wasn’t gonna say that.” He protested. “I know. But it’s true. Me and James…we didn’t date. Not exactly. Let’s just say we knew each other really well. Still do.” She said, smirking like she’d made some kind of joke. Steve didn’t get it. “Still---“ he began, before Bucky cut him off again. “Believe me, I was just as bad as he was. I was gross, and I was a bully. And sure, I feel like shit about it but…well, I’ve changed.” She explained. 

Steve nodded. “I guess that’s all you can do. Do you…do you think James will be here?” he asked, his voice betraying how nervous he was about the idea. “I know for a fact that he won’t be. He’s…he’s actually gone.” Bucky replied quietly. “Gone? What do you mean gone?” he asked. “Is he dead?” he asked. “Well…he’s not dead. He just changed a lot.” She said. “Oh. Thank fuck, okay.” He said in relief. “I thought you hated him.” Bucky teased, nudging his shoulder. “Well sure, but I don’t want him to die!” he explained. She laughed, throwing her head back to expose her pale throat in a way that made Steve’s stomach flip. “You know…” Bucky began, after a momentary lull in the conversation. “You know why he picked on you so bad?”

“Because I was scrawny, geeky, openly bi and didn’t know when to shut up?” he suggested. “Well…yeah, that. But he didn’t hate you for all those things. He liked them.” She said, sounding like she’d revealed the secrets of the universe. “What do you mean?” Steve asked, frowning in confusion. Bucky bit her lip. “He had a giant crush on you, Steve.” 

“…What?” he asked, jerking away in shock. 

“He had a crush on you. Hell, the idiot was practically in love with you. He thought you were spunky, and smart, and that you could probably kill someone just with one of your dirty looks.” She said, laughing and covering up her mouth to hide it. “That’s…that’s impossible. James Barnes isn’t gay.” 

“No, he isn’t.” Bucky agreed quietly. “That doesn’t mean he couldn’t have had a crush on you.” She replied, digging into her pockets for a pack of cigarettes. She found it eventually, lighting one and taking a long drag. “So…you’re saying James is bi?” 

She shrugged. “Something like that.” She said, with an air of mystery. “You…how do you know that?” he asked, looking incredibly skeptical. James Barnes had done some pretty awful shit to him. He’d trapped Steve in a locker overnight in his junior year. “Like I said, we’re close. When you dated Peggy he was so jealous he slipped notes into her locker every day for a year, calling her horrible names. I’m not saying he went about it correctly, not at all. But he did love you.” She said, taking another drag of her cigarette. 

Steve couldn’t help but smile slightly. “You know…before he started being a dick to me…in middle school and when I was a freshman…I had a crush on him too.” He admitted, his cheeks going red. 

Bucky grinned, like Christmas had come early. “Really? You liked m- you liked him too?” she asked excitedly. He laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Embarrassing, isn’t it?” he said grimacing. She shook her head. “No, no. I think it’s sweet. You saw the good in James before you saw the bad.” She said softly. “Sam likes to tell me I could see the good in Adolf Hitler if I tried.” He replied with a tiny smile. “Yeah…I’m not really good as seeing the best in people. Also, I’m Jewish so…” she shrugged. Steve laughed, nudging her. “You know that’s just an expression, right?” 

“Yeah, I know. I just thought I throw it out there. I’ve never been good at seeing good in people. In high school, I’m pretty sure I had exactly one real friend. Her name was Natasha, and she wasn’t afraid to hit me if I deserved it.” She muttered. “Natasha Romanoff?” he asked. “Yeah. We were really close. Still are, actually. She’s probably inside, dancing with her boyfriend.” She said, jerking a thumb towards the entrance to the hotel. As if summoned by the mention of her name, Natasha Romanoff stumbled outside, her warm wrapped around a blonde man in purple sunglasses. “Nat!” Bucky called, waving to her. “Hey Barnes!” she shouted back, waving with a hand holding a bottle of pure vodka. Bucky laughed, before going red when she realized what Natasha had said. 

“Barnes?” Steve asked, side eyeing her. “I…I um…I should go.” She muttered, grabbing her purse and getting up, running off to Natasha. Steve simply blinked in shock. He hadn’t known that James had a sister. It would explain why she seemed defensive of him, anyways. Were they twins? She must be exactly Steve’s age, if she was in his grade. He sighed, getting up and following her back into the building. He might as well stop hiding outside, if Bucky was going to. 

His eyes searched for Sam as soon as he walked into the big ballroom, but he was nowhere to be found. Bucky was in the left corner by the open bar, leaning her head on Natasha’s shoulder. Was she…crying? He immediately felt incredibly guilty. He shouldn’t have told her how much he hated James without getting to know who she was, first. Some people gave him polite nods, and a few even smiled at him. He sat down on one of the chairs by the right wall, making sure to grab a shot from the waiters walking around. He was gonna need to be more drunk for this. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there, but before he knew it he felt the sharp pain of someone grabbing his ear like he was a child. Steve looked up to find Natasha Romanoff glowering at him. “Uh…can I help you?” he asked awkwardly, trying not to let fear seep into his voice. Everyone was afraid of Natasha, it had been this way since high school. “How about an apology to Bucky? What the hell did you say to her?! I haven’t seen her cry like that her parents kicked her out.” Natasha demanded. “I…I didn’t say anything!” Steve insisted.   
“Yeah sure you didn’t, shit head.” 

“I didn’t! She started crying when you called her Barnes. James was…really awful to me, I don’t think she wanted me to know they’re related.” He explained. Natasha arched a perfectly plucked red eyebrow. “…Related?” she asked, sounding surprised. “Well…yeah. She’s like…James’s sister or something, right?” he asked  
Natasha hesitated. “I’ll let her tell you. Just…be aware. If you say anything to upset her, I will kick your ass into next year’s reunion.” She threatened. Steve nodded. “Yeah. Mentally noted. …Ma’am.” He said awkwardly. “Ma’am. I like that.” She said smugly, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the chair. She watched him go over to the bar, sliding into the seat next to Bucky. 

“So…Natasha says I should apologize to you.” He began awkwardly. Bucky groaned. “God, what did she say?” she asked, embarrassed. “Nothing much. Just that…I hurt your feelings. So whatever it was I did, I’m really sorry.” He said. 

“No, no don’t be. It’s not…you shouldn’t be sorry. You were great. I really like talking to you. I…I really like you. Again. Or…still? I’m not sure I ever stopped, really…” she rambled awkwardly. Steve grinned. “You like me? Like…you like me, or you like-like me?” he asked shyly.“ Bucky laughed. “Jesus, it’s high school all over again.” She muttered. “But...yes. I like-like you, Stevie.” She said. “Stevie?” he asked. No one ever called him Stevie. Not his friends not even his mother. The only person he’d ever heard call him Stevie was…was James Barnes. 

“You and him are a lot alike.” He said, half smiling. “Me and who?” she asked. “You and…you and James. Is he your brother? Or your twin?” Steve asked curiously. “Uh…in a way.” She said, taking a sip of her drink. Again with the mystery surrounding her. “What way would that be?” he pried. Bucky hesitated. “Look…I was probably gonna tell you anyways, alright? As a general rule, I tell everyone before I sleep with them, so I know who to avoid.” She began, which didn’t lessen Steve’s confusion. She told everyone she slept with about her brother?  
“And I kind of owe it to you. I was awful to you. I was…a misogynistic, homophobic self-hating douche nozzle.” She continued, not meeting Steve’s eyes. A slow theory began to form in Steve’s mind, but he waited for Bucky to finish what she wanted to say. “Steve…I’m James.” 

“You’re James.” He repeated in shock. 

“Well…no. I used to be. Before I changed it, my name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky for short. Like I said, I…I had a lot of therapy after high school.”

“Oh.” He said softly. 

“And…I promise you that I’ve changed. Not just on the outside. I’ve changed a lot, Steve. Or…I like to think I have. And if you have a problem with that, or with…” she trailed off, making a vague hand gesture, “Then so offense but you can go fuck yourself.”

Steve laughed, and Bucky backed away like she was afraid of him before Steve leaned in and kissed her. Bucky was shocked to say the least. She sat there frozen for a moment, not kissing back. When Steve moved to pull away however, she pulled him back in and kissed him gently. 

“I…wow.” She murmured, when she finally pulled away for breath. 

“So…you were in love with me, huh?” he teased, pressing his forehead against hers. “Shut up, dick. I could still probably shove you into a locker.” 

“Bucky. It would be my absolute pleasure to be shoved into a locker by you.”


End file.
